Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota : If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food willswim by, You might live in Minnesota .
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Minnesota .
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's 'too spendy', You might live in Minnesota .
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Minnesota .
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Minnesota .
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle ofhis forehead, You might live in Minnesota .
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Minnesota .
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in Minnesota .
If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi...Cloquet Edina...and Shakopee, You might live in Minnesota .
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in Minnesota .
If vacation means going 'up north' for the weekend, You might live in Minnesota .
You measure distance in hours, You might live in Minnesota .
You know several people, who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Minnesota .
You often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You might live in Minnesota .
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You might live in Minnesota .
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Minnesota .
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave bothunlocked, You might live in Minnesota .
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison, You might live in Minnesota .
You carry jumper cables in your car,and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Minnesota .
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time, You might live in Minnesota .
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Minnesota .
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Minnesota .
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction, You might live in Minnesota .
You can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in Minnesota .
Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce, You might live in Minnesota .
If 'Down South' to you means Iowa , You might live in Minnesota .
You know 'a brat' is something you eat, You might live in Minnesota .
You find -10 degrees 'a little chilly', You might live in Minnesota .
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends, You DO live in Minnesota .
