Humor of the day - Mille Lacs Lake Fishing (Fishing Reports, Events, Tournament Information and more)

Doug Ertl · Website Admin

Humor of the day

iwalleye · Member

RE: Friday Funny

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Malmo Mike's Friday Photo Humor; please note is hard to top

Doug's stories; him and Bobber are Milel Lacs lake legends.

Photo 1: Eat more chicken?

Photo 2: Why is the Wizard of Oz so popular?

Photo 3: Cute Girl!!!

Photo 4: Cute girl with an Attitude!!!

Doug Ertl · Website Admin

Watch out for those Holiday photos.

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

RE: Humor of the day

gms_mn · Member

The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two
to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because
he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to
make one of them stay with him the whole time, so
they voted to take turns.

The first guy to bunk with Daryl showed up for
breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and
his eyes all bloodshot. The others asked him what
had happened, to which he replied, 'Daryl snored so
loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In
the morning, he appeared much the same - he came to
breakfast with his hair all standing up, and red,
blood-shot eyes. When asked what had happened, he
replied, 'Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up
and watched him all night.'

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big
burly former football player; a man's man. The next
morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed, greeting the others with a cheerful.
'Good morning!' They couldn't believe it! When one
of the friends asked what had happened, Frank
smiled. ''Well, we got ready for bed. I went and
tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night..
and HE sat up and watched ME all night.'

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Holy Sh*t, Jon.

I never like those Orca's anyway.

I will fish for walleyes only.

HA!

Nice Photo Doug!!! Naked at the Office Party. Love it.

So why do guys like football games so much?

Here is why!!!

Bobber · Admin / Moderator

I like football..

gms_mn · Member

The latest ploy to drive the Taliban and Al Qaeda out of the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Alabama Special Forces. Billy Bob, Bubba, Boo, Scooter, and Cooter are being sent in with the following info about the Taliban:

1. There is no limit.

2. The season opened last weekend.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music, or Jesus.

5. Some are queer.

6. They don't like barbecue.

7. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

Anybody using extentions yet??????????????

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Malmo Mike's Security System: (It has been a slow day):

The Malmo Bay security team:

1. Photo 1: Winter Security - Driveway Patrol.

2. Photo 2: Summer Secuirty - Watch the marina.

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

What should you do with your empty beer cans (from all those cold ones)?

Photo 1: The solution

Photo 2: Gas Prices lately

Glen Ertl · Gray Goose Captain

LOL....Mike you crack me up...

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

The weather is perfect for ice fishing today, guys!

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Howd do you get to shore for fun with Walleye Wanda? smile cry disbelief hmm

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

OOPS! Forgot the bowmount....................... Oh well, hand me another beer, there, will ya?

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Good One Jon...

You are my go to guy.

I like the cold one and a bow mount too on the ice flow.

Works for me...

Now we just gotta find the wallleyes?

Thoise floating suits are something.

gms_mn · Member

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Gone GMS... WTG

Another good blond joke...

Time for some Christmas eve cheer....

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

Alot of this going on out there with no snow:

-- Edited by tat2jonnie on Wednesday 28th of December 2011 07:31:59 AM

paddyg · Member

GOOD ONE

gms_mn · Member

Worlds Shortest and Best Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.

THE END

-- Edited by gms_mn on Tuesday 3rd of January 2012 08:29:52 PM

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

A warden walks up to a walleye fisherman with a cooler full of 20 to 26 inch fish on Mille Lacs. The warden says,”You know…it’s illegal to keep those fish you caught?” The fisherman answers, “I didn’t catch those, they’re my pet fish, I bring them down here from home once a day so they can swim around and when I whistle they come back and jump in the cooler and I take them back home”. The warden says, ” I don’t believe it”. So the fisherman dumps the cooler and the fish go for a swim. After a few minutes the warden says, “Well..when are you going to whistle to bring the fish back?” The fisherman says,”What fish are you talking about?!?!?!”

Willy · Member

Lmao. I like that.

gms_mn · Member

The difference between having Guts and having Balls...

Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Good One Jon!!! LMAO!

smile smile smile biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

I like it GMS.

why not live dangerous EH?

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Malmo Mike Friday 01-06-12 Humor Update:

Dumb & Dumber ??? You tell me...

Bass Boat.

A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,

"What you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says, "I won it and I'm a-gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand. He yells out to him, "What are you doin'?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?"

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Alabama a bad name, makin' everybody thinkwe're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"

Bobber · Admin / Moderator

tat2jonnie wrote:
A warden walks up to a walleye fisherman with a cooler full of 20 to 26 inch fish on Mille Lacs. The warden says,”You know…it’s illegal to keep those fish you caught?” The fisherman answers, “I didn’t catch those, they’re my pet fish, I bring them down here from home once a day so they can swim around and when I whistle they come back and jump in the cooler and I take them back home”. The warden says, ” I don’t believe it”. So the fisherman dumps the cooler and the fish go for a swim. After a few minutes the warden says, “Well..when are you going to whistle to bring the fish back?” The fisherman says,”What fish are you talking about?!?!?!”

......................................

Willy · Member

Coming up.....we're going to run some planer boards on the North end behind the wheeler. We figure we still get our 2 lines a piece so it should be a nice spread.

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Malmo Mike's Humor for Tuesday:

(yes it was a slow day perhaps)...

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

Then ya got the "Redneck Measuring Tape"

"Yah, sure. She was a 7 canner!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Corky · Member

Hey! i have one of those.

Nancy · Member

One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!" Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."

Eyes of the world · Member

This was recently posted on IDO, but for you that didn't see it, it's pretty good!!!

Never feel too Sorry for yourself!!!

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play golf .

One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.

He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do
things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because
he had lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for
saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again. The one armed Man asked, 'Why are you so
happy anyway?'

He said, 'I'm NOT happy.

My balls itch.’

It could be Worse!!!

gms_mn · Member

bobber's 40# walleye

-- Edited by gms_mn on Saturday 14th of January 2012 05:35:09 AM

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Nice. That's a walleye I guess.

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

So you think you have it rough? Look at this clip from Russia, where they can't afford fishing poles or anything bigger than a five inch auger!!!!

http://www.videobash.com/video_show/fishing-like-a-boss-29517

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Geez, Jon,

That looks like a helluva cold way to catch a fish!

I kinda like my Fenwick Elite-Tech HMG rods & Flueger reels from Reed's -- if ya know hat I mean...HA!

wink smile biggrin YUP, I am spoiled bad. Me bad.

It is Monday's Humor from Malmo Mike.

(A slow day yes...I had to go to the dentist all morning - UGH.)

Today's Photo Guide:

1. What does that Black Cat really mean?

2. How to navigate to the mud flats on this crazy ice?

3. Gambling Rule Number 1. (Always remember rule Number 1.)

Nancy · Member

Ole died. Lena goes to the newspaper office to print the death notice.

The clerk asks her, “What do you want it to say?”
“Ole died.”
The clerk looks up. “What else?”
Nothing else.”
“But Lena, you were married to Ole all those years. Don’t you want to say anything else about him?”
“Nope.”
The clerk thinks a minute. “You know, Lena, it won’t cost you any more if you add a little. The first ten words are the same price.”
“Ten words, and it won’t cost extra?” she asks.
The clerk nods.
Lena thinks hard, then says, “Ole died. Boat for sale.”

Janene · Member

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She read many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.

After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "There are no fish under the ice!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "There are no fish under the ice!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No, manager of this ice rink!"

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

Ya go through more auger blades that way................. blankstare

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

OMG. Your sonar will not do much either!

Wrong rink. Let's try the LAKE. 

gms_mn · Member

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my dipshit husband is out fishing in that shit."

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Today's Senior Moment:

The Stolen Car -- A senior moment!~

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.****

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all.

“Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these, “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane’s voice. “Ken,” she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen the car.”

I hate that when that happens...Malmo Mike 

gms_mn · Member

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. ... The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. . The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this...when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said,'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' .... I just lost it! LMAO — at Home.

gms_mn · Member

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. ... The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. . The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this...when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said,'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' .... I just lost it! LMAO — at Home.

Janene · Member

Redneck Fire Alarm

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Today's Humor & images from Malmo Mike:

1. A new fish found in Malmo Bay - The Cash Bullhead.

2. Mardi Gras Wyoming - no explanation required.

wallyhntr1 · Member

An Illegal Alien, a Muslim and a Communist go into a bar.

The bartender asks:

"What can I get you, Mr. President?"

Eyes of the world · Member

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

no fart fishing

gms_mn · Member

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth
control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?", And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube
method". And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" and Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I
put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is
Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down."

tat2jonnie · Senior Member

Happy birthday, Bob!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-28jAoTPFw

Love ya brother!

Perch on..............

-- Edited by tat2jonnie on Saturday 10th of March 2012 09:40:50 PM

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Today's Dumb Ass award goes to:

MCallies · Malmo Bay Bomber

Another type of Humor ... a bad day in town: