> Dear Employees: > > It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals > throughout the company have been using foul language during the course > of normal conversation with their co-workers. > > Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily > offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. > > We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to > accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. > > Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been > provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue > in an effective manner. > > > Number 1 > TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. > INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing. > > Number 2 > TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. > INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__. > > Number 3 > TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. > INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this? > > Number 4 > TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. > INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way. > > Number 5 > TRY SAYING: Really? > INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me! > > Number 6 > TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... > INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__. > > Number 7 > TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. > INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem. > > Number 8 > TRY SAYING: That's interesting. > INSTEAD OF: What the f___? > > Number 9 > TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. > INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work. > > Number 10 > TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. > INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner? > > Number 11 > TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues... > INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__. > > Number 12 > TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? > INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die. > > Number 13 > TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? > INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__. > > Number 14 > TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. > INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary. > > Number 15 > TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. > INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__. > > Number 16 > TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. > INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks. > > Number 17 > TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? > INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss? > > Number 18 > TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. > INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck. > > Thank You, > Human Resources
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I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots away.
